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R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. |
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Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. |
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Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper. |
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Chapelle's Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. |
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Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. |
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Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes. |
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Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Survived Monday. |
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C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday. |
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OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Survived Wednesday. |
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It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Survived Thursday. |
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Workin' for the Weekend
Survived Friday. |
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Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday. |
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I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb. |
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Cesar Millan is Gay
Mauled 30 people with your dog. |
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OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire. |
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Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars. |
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Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs. |
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Darth Maul'd!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. |
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Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. |
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Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun. |
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I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. |
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Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. |
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Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. |
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Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. |
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Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people. |
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And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library. |
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Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. |
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Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. |
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Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. |
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Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. |
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Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
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GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. |
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Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads. |
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Anustart!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills. |
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40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) |
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CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.) |
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Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. |
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Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty. |
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Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. |
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It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. |
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Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch. |
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Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head. |
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Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. |
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Shiva Blast
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. |
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Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
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I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way. |
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I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day. |
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Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. |
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Officer McLovin'
Asked a police officer to sign your petition. |
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Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. |
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Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door. |
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I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire. |
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It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss. |
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It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. |
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FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits. |
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I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. |
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A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. |
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Door Mat
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. |
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Chuck Norris'd!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick. |
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One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death. |
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There's always money in the banana stand |
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SCREW that game! |
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Found 'em faster than GWB |
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Gotta pay the Troll Toll |
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John Rambo'd! |
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Gary vs. a Giant Penis |
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You are not alone |
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Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days. |
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GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend. |
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Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy. |
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Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame. |
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Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader. |
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Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion. |
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My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills. |
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Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty. |
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Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) |
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Ape Rape |
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Dick Message |
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PooMasher |
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Hobo Sexual |
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Ginger Mint |
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Ode to Eddings |
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Bitches Love Cake |
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Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors. |
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BioShocked
Spent $5,000 on vending machines. |
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Reddit's Famous Double Dong
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding. |
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You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone. |
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RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 30 people in the balls. |
